Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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