When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize