i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she looked like the before picture.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
