i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
