This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
