Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Everyone says I win the strip club
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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