its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
