Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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