That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
