If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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