you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
