I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize