it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
