How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm getting married
To pizza
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
