My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
