You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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