I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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