He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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