nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
