i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
