At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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