Having a random hookup so left but love u
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
