she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
