Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
