You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize