Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
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She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
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New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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