Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
