Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
