Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
