operation harelip BJ is a go
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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