Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
