but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
