omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
