he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Dignity is for republicans.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
