Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
