Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
