happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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