he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
