Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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