I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
