Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
