Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
