i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
