I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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