HIV tests are more positive than that guy
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
