After last night, I could never be a politician.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
