...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Fuck me I smell like cheese
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
