Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
