Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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