I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
