Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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