I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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