If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We smell like vodka and hangover
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
