that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
