Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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