Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
