...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
