why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
