Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
