he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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