dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
